So much

This is a busy week. On Monday my mother-in-law was over to spend time with the kids, so I went shopping alone for a couple hours. Tuesday was the Crayola Factory with friends. Today I babysat this gal's nephew for a couple hours in the morning which was really fun. The little guy is three weeks younger than my Katie but can speak much more clearly and say more words, so Joey was asking him to say a different word every twenty seconds. And Katie had another little person to enjoy the trains with. After his mommy took him home, we packed up to head out to finish Christmas shopping at Kohl's and Wal-Mart, eat a free lunch at McDonald's with my trick-or-treat coupons, and make a final stop at Wegman's for a few food things. Tonight is my mom's birthday, so we will go over to her house for dinner and presents before church.

Tomorrow is Adam's day off with just a few house projects planned for the morning. Then Friday is a Christmas party at my friend's house, along with my sister and her kids - ten kids, three moms - it will be fun! And then Saturday is Caramel Corn day, but I'll fill you in on that later.

This week has been busy, as well as a bit trying in the parenthood department. Monday and Tuesday were very discouraging as I had to deal with some misbehavior. I have never really felt such a heavy heart, or such disappointment as the result of bad behaviour before. Those two days were hard to get through (with no help from the hormone department). But those days passed and today was a new day. We had fun with our little visitor, the kids were well-behaved and happy while I was shopping, and the fuzzy fog has lifted from my brain and heart.

Sometimes when I feel like one day melts indistinguishably into the next, or question what I am really doing, or wonder if this is ever going to feel successful, or wish I were doing something entirely different from what the day's schedule presents, I am thankful for Psalm 37:3.

Trust in the LORD and do good; so shalt thou dwell in the land, and verily thou shalt be fed.

It is God's answer to all those feelings and questions. I must continue to do good, trust in the goodness of Jehovah, and He will take care of me. I had some terribly ugly moments on Monday and Tuesday. I was not the mother or wife I should be. God's mercy was given, and I am so grateful. I am thankful He gives me today, another chance to do good and trust in Him to give me the grace I need. And this very flawed mama needs that grace, let me tell you. Sometimes I am a big, fat failure; but God never fails me.

Today is good. I am looking forward to the rest of my week, and all the new mornings that provide more opportunities to trust, and do, and dwell, and be fed.